Chokmah, you are my wise sister...
As I write my Father's words in my private notebook
Which contains all my most heartfelt thoughts, dreams, and struggles.
The essence of the soul of my being.
Biynah, you are my discerning kinswoman...
I adorn my fingers with His truths
So I will never forget them,
And be lured away from my Beloved
By the flattering foreigner Zuwr.
This stranger is subtle, yet strong,
And he awaits me at every corner.
He tempts me with promises
Of peace, comfort, and good feelings
Until my Bridegroom returns from His journey.
If I should forget my Father's instructions
Then the foreigner shall succeed.
Zuwr will entice me to follow him
He will lead me as a beast to the slaughter.
So stay with me Chokmah
And lead me down the right path, Biynah.
For I do not wish to join the many,
The many who have been destroyed by Zuwr.
(This is my interpretation of Proverbs 7)
Monday, November 24, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Personal Jesus
Remember that song? Actually I didn't until I came up with the title for this blog posting and then realized that I had heard that phrase before. I googled it and found the Depeche Mode and Johnny Cash versions on YouTube. The actual song may not be about Jesus specifically, but He IS a personal Jesus to anyone who wants Him to be.
Link to the song: Personal Jesus
What I was going to say about this is that Jesus is personal. He gets personal. He will not deal with me the same way He will with you. He will not ask the same things of me as He will of you either. There is a part in The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis, where Aslan tells the boy "I'm telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own." It's much the same with Jesus. He tells me something different and in a different way than He might tell you in order to get me to the next bend in the path on my Christian walk. Each person who has given their life to Christ has a different story to tell. It happens differently for everyone, even though the end result is essentially the same (eternity spent with God in heaven). It is like this because He made us and knows each one of us intimately. He understands that some people prefer old-fashioned hymns without instruments for their corporate worship times and others like something with a beat and lots of guitar. All the different types of churches are not wrong (unless they are not representing Jesus accurately and biblically), and He has given each one their own purpose and mission to fulfill.
I have been very open in my online writing about God calling me to wear a covering and using it as a place to discuss and process what I am learning about it. For me it has always been personal. Something between Him and myself. He may not ask it of everyone else or He may have different reasons or methods or times to wear it for those who have also been called to do this. All I know is that this is what He wants of me and it pleases Him that I am doing it in response to Him out of love (and not out of fear or thinking wrongly that it is what all good Christian married women should do).
He may be asking something of you right now or leading you down a new path. Don't worry if it seems strange or different than everyone else. Get personal with Jesus and reach out and touch Him and He will give you all the grace you need to follow through.
Be blessed...
Link to the song: Personal Jesus
What I was going to say about this is that Jesus is personal. He gets personal. He will not deal with me the same way He will with you. He will not ask the same things of me as He will of you either. There is a part in The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis, where Aslan tells the boy "I'm telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own." It's much the same with Jesus. He tells me something different and in a different way than He might tell you in order to get me to the next bend in the path on my Christian walk. Each person who has given their life to Christ has a different story to tell. It happens differently for everyone, even though the end result is essentially the same (eternity spent with God in heaven). It is like this because He made us and knows each one of us intimately. He understands that some people prefer old-fashioned hymns without instruments for their corporate worship times and others like something with a beat and lots of guitar. All the different types of churches are not wrong (unless they are not representing Jesus accurately and biblically), and He has given each one their own purpose and mission to fulfill.
I have been very open in my online writing about God calling me to wear a covering and using it as a place to discuss and process what I am learning about it. For me it has always been personal. Something between Him and myself. He may not ask it of everyone else or He may have different reasons or methods or times to wear it for those who have also been called to do this. All I know is that this is what He wants of me and it pleases Him that I am doing it in response to Him out of love (and not out of fear or thinking wrongly that it is what all good Christian married women should do).
He may be asking something of you right now or leading you down a new path. Don't worry if it seems strange or different than everyone else. Get personal with Jesus and reach out and touch Him and He will give you all the grace you need to follow through.
Be blessed...
Monday, November 10, 2008
The Lunar Phases of Erika
I have been wanting to write my follow-up post to the Headcovering article but I did not get my inspiration until this last weekend when the Lord allowed me to have more (but not yet complete) understanding about why He chose me to become a headcovering Christian woman.
You may have heard the analogy that Jesus is the sun and one who has accepted His gift of salvation is the moon, reflecting His light to the world. I have also heard this before and thought it was a cool analogy, but the other night He showed me that there are also phases in a believer's development, just like the moon (at least in my own life). I would like to share my own spiritual development with you as it equates to the lunar phases.
For the sake of this analogy we'll say a person does not become a "moon" unless they accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. I am not sure when I became a moon. It must have been at a young age because I cannot remember ever not believing God was real or that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I went to Sunday School every week throughout my entire childhood so I understood the basics of the Christian faith and personally believed them for myself.
The first lunar phase is the new moon phase. We know the moon is there but it appears dark because it is between the earth and the sun so the earth (the world) does not see the light. I was stuck in the new moon phase for a very long time. I knew Jesus, I could see Him myself, but I was stuck in between the things of the world and my love for Christ and I was afraid to let His light shine on the world. I became bound by fear and it nearly ruined me last year as I went through a dark period of depression. I cried out to God every night to help me for months while at the same time trying herbal remedies and eating better in case it was just something like a vitamin deficiency :) , and in His perfect timing He answered with a simple request....
"Cover your head."
This was something I was aware of, being in the homeschooling community, that some Christian women cover their heads and many at the same time also adopt a plain, modest style of dress to go along with it. I respected their conviction but did not think it was necessary for me to do that. I thought that if I started covering my head I would also have to start wearing the modest dresses and it just was not appealing to me, to be frank. I think there are ways to be modest and respectful of men without having to give up my own sense of style (whatever that may be...). But one day last July God made it very clear to me that I should wear some kind of covering. Any kind. It wasn't what I looked like that mattered. He just wanted me to obey by actively taking a garment of some sort and putting it on my head. So I did. I did not understand why. Why me? Why not her or her or her? For how long? All these questions and more have gone through my covered head over the last several months. But you know what? When I made that decision to obey my Lord's request my moon started to turn a little and shine just a sliver of His light.
As my little light shone I spent much time in research about the biblical basis for headcovering and seeking Him for myself and for some answers to those questions. He revealed Himself over those weeks and months of bible study and prayer and discussions with friends in ways I never thought possible. He also allowed me some time in that little sliver of light phase, so I could get over more of my fear of man and the need to be accepted. I had a hard time wearing the coverings without wondering and worrying about what people thought of me and what I would say if they asked about it (which hardly ever happened surprisingly). I was about ready to give it up, thinking that it was counterproductive if it consumed my thoughts in that way. I did not want the covering to hinder my Christian growth, which I was striving so hard for. But just as He knew I would, I did get over it and in the last week or so I stopped thinking about other people's opinions and just wore it and enjoyed it. I liked that I didn't have to do too much with my hair. I liked that I was doing something just for Him. I liked how it was bringing me closer to a friend who is also covering in obedience to His request. I had reached the first quarter phase, showing a half-moon of His light to the world.
This past weekend He showed up when I was at a monthly worship service and brought me to the next "waxing gibbous" phase. He took away the last of my fear and showed me who I am. He's given me more understanding of the things He's shown me in my personal bible studies in the past couple of months and I am excited to use His gifts and to follow His leading for the rest of my life. He still wants me to cover, and I am happy to do it if it will bring Him the glory and help someone else find their way to Him.
When will I become a full moon? I think that will be the day Jesus comes for me, when I will finally become the perfect mirror image of His light. It is going to be marvelous to see!
What phase are you in? If you know and feel comfortable sharing please post a comment (even anonymously if you want), and I will pray with and for you to reach the next level. For Proverbs 4:18 says, "But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines brighter and brighter until the full day."
You may have heard the analogy that Jesus is the sun and one who has accepted His gift of salvation is the moon, reflecting His light to the world. I have also heard this before and thought it was a cool analogy, but the other night He showed me that there are also phases in a believer's development, just like the moon (at least in my own life). I would like to share my own spiritual development with you as it equates to the lunar phases.
For the sake of this analogy we'll say a person does not become a "moon" unless they accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. I am not sure when I became a moon. It must have been at a young age because I cannot remember ever not believing God was real or that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I went to Sunday School every week throughout my entire childhood so I understood the basics of the Christian faith and personally believed them for myself.
The first lunar phase is the new moon phase. We know the moon is there but it appears dark because it is between the earth and the sun so the earth (the world) does not see the light. I was stuck in the new moon phase for a very long time. I knew Jesus, I could see Him myself, but I was stuck in between the things of the world and my love for Christ and I was afraid to let His light shine on the world. I became bound by fear and it nearly ruined me last year as I went through a dark period of depression. I cried out to God every night to help me for months while at the same time trying herbal remedies and eating better in case it was just something like a vitamin deficiency :) , and in His perfect timing He answered with a simple request....
"Cover your head."
This was something I was aware of, being in the homeschooling community, that some Christian women cover their heads and many at the same time also adopt a plain, modest style of dress to go along with it. I respected their conviction but did not think it was necessary for me to do that. I thought that if I started covering my head I would also have to start wearing the modest dresses and it just was not appealing to me, to be frank. I think there are ways to be modest and respectful of men without having to give up my own sense of style (whatever that may be...). But one day last July God made it very clear to me that I should wear some kind of covering. Any kind. It wasn't what I looked like that mattered. He just wanted me to obey by actively taking a garment of some sort and putting it on my head. So I did. I did not understand why. Why me? Why not her or her or her? For how long? All these questions and more have gone through my covered head over the last several months. But you know what? When I made that decision to obey my Lord's request my moon started to turn a little and shine just a sliver of His light.
As my little light shone I spent much time in research about the biblical basis for headcovering and seeking Him for myself and for some answers to those questions. He revealed Himself over those weeks and months of bible study and prayer and discussions with friends in ways I never thought possible. He also allowed me some time in that little sliver of light phase, so I could get over more of my fear of man and the need to be accepted. I had a hard time wearing the coverings without wondering and worrying about what people thought of me and what I would say if they asked about it (which hardly ever happened surprisingly). I was about ready to give it up, thinking that it was counterproductive if it consumed my thoughts in that way. I did not want the covering to hinder my Christian growth, which I was striving so hard for. But just as He knew I would, I did get over it and in the last week or so I stopped thinking about other people's opinions and just wore it and enjoyed it. I liked that I didn't have to do too much with my hair. I liked that I was doing something just for Him. I liked how it was bringing me closer to a friend who is also covering in obedience to His request. I had reached the first quarter phase, showing a half-moon of His light to the world.
This past weekend He showed up when I was at a monthly worship service and brought me to the next "waxing gibbous" phase. He took away the last of my fear and showed me who I am. He's given me more understanding of the things He's shown me in my personal bible studies in the past couple of months and I am excited to use His gifts and to follow His leading for the rest of my life. He still wants me to cover, and I am happy to do it if it will bring Him the glory and help someone else find their way to Him.
When will I become a full moon? I think that will be the day Jesus comes for me, when I will finally become the perfect mirror image of His light. It is going to be marvelous to see!
What phase are you in? If you know and feel comfortable sharing please post a comment (even anonymously if you want), and I will pray with and for you to reach the next level. For Proverbs 4:18 says, "But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines brighter and brighter until the full day."
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